Frown of the Day

And now for some of my famous suicide humour to prove my point. Those of you who appreciated the cartoon series Cat of Nine Deaths about the nightmares of a suicidal cat - Sigh! - might like these. Said the Scottish cat who could pilot a starship to his first mate: There's as saying in the old country: Kill me once, shame on you. Kill me twice, shame on me. Said the cat with a grimace, inserting a hose in the patient's wet, gaping mouth: This sucks. Said the newt to the witch: Why not take all of me? Said the superstitious black cat to the pedestrian: Shall I walk backwards? Said a witness to the cat's execution: Serves you right for being curious. Shouted the badly deformed cat when cornered by a mob of gawkers: I am not an armadillo! Said the cat that was used as a test subject in the Bikini atoll in the 1950's: This is much worse than a hot tin roof. Said the confused crow to the cat: Which way is east-northwest? Replied the cat: As the crow dies. Said the first cat in space upon its safe return: That was one giant leap for a cat. Said the elderly cat to the welfare worker: What am I supposed to live on? Catfood? Sang the cat to the extraterrestrial to communicate friendship: Meow-meow-meow-meow... Said the cat to the bully: My cousin's a leopard! Said the psychiatrist to the cat: You may suffer from a snagglepuss complex. Said the cat that applied for a job in the beds department: I'm an expert on napping. Said the cat that was a famous general: I shall come back.
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© 2007, 2012. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

The Season of Bewitched

I had to stop my DVD in the middle of a Bewitched episode this morning. Darrin had stayed up all night working on a layout and couldn't come up with anything good. Then Samantha took a look at it and made a few brilliant suggestions. He thought she cheated, using witchcraft. But she said she simply used her own imagination. Essentially, Darrin called his wife dumb. Then he called her a liar. She should have dumped him right then, but I guess the show was still only in its first season.
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© 2012. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.